Hello, freedom fighters and military might worldwide, and welcome today to Camp Slayer in downtown Baghdad! Today the beans join the brave men and women of the U.S. military as they take up occupancy at the former home of one of the world's most notorious people. (No, this isn't Neverland Ranch.) So notify the mailman, air out the guest rooms, and hide anything fragile, 'cause the beans are movin' on up into Saddam Hussein's pad! (It's not like he's gonna need it again...) As you might imagine, the beans had a swell time raiding Saddam's fridge, racking up long distance charges on his phone, and of course prowling through his personal stuff -- you wouldn't believe some of the not-so-manly undergarments they found hidden in the back of his dresser. "Saddam's Secret" indeed...

Technically, this property is (or was, as the case may be...) known as the Radwaniyah Presidential Site, which was just one of Saddam's many palaces. This one is located about 9 miles east of central Baghdad, and is adjacent to 'Saddam International Airport'. The compound itself is 9.3 square miles in size, and as you can see, even comes complete with three artificial lakes. One of the buildings here was known as Saddam's "Perfume Palace", which has an indoor pool, 2-story high military murals, a blue-domed ballroom, and gold-leaf wallpaper. Yikes. I guess there's no accounting for taste, is there? It's too bad that they didn't get here sooner; the beans would've been more than happy to give Saddam some home decorating advice. Their first tip? Replace the military murals with Velvet Elvis posters. Perhaps then he might've been a little more civil, don't you think?

Since Saddam has taken off to points unknown (hopefully with a one-way ticket to the Land of Eternal Damnation...), the compound is now known as Camp Slayer, which serves as a logistics and operations base for the weapons inspectors and as an outpost for eavesdropping and other classified operations. While most of the goings-on here are double-secret-probation hush-hush (gee, can you imagine why???), the beans were cleared by the State Department to let you know that the experts here are highly skilled, extremely dedicated, and incredibly cool people. Plus, they know a good can of All-American vegetables when they see it. So once again, the beans stop and thank Karl and all of the men and women of the U.S. military for their hospitality, and letting them see what life is like nowadays in Iraq. The beans salute the work you're doing, and hope you can all come home safe and sound soon. Oh, and you don't have to worry about inspecting the bean's suitcase on their way out of camp -- they wouldn't dream of taking home any "souvenirs" from Saddam's palace...honestly!