Good day, all my nutty friends, and welcome to Brunswick, Missouri - the home to the World's Largest Pecan! Brunswick is about 100 miles East of Kansas City, and has a local population of about 1,000 people, and countless nuts, including this incredibly big sucker here, which is found on the James family farm, which boasts over 10,000 pecan trees. This mother of all pecans weighs in at 12,000 pounds, is 7 feet high and 12 feet long, and has sat in front of the Nut Hut roadside pecan stand since 1982. (Okay, technically it's made of cement and isn't really a genuine pecan, but if you close your eyes and forget to be cynical for a moment, you should be able to pretend it's a real nut...) The beans thought this giant pecan was pretty cool and all, but were constantly on the lookout for a 80-foot tall squirrel.

Every October, the nice people of Brunswick host a pecan festival, which includes tons of nut-related fun stuff to do, like a carnival, a Nutty Parade, a BBQ chicken dinner, and of course a pecan pie contest. The beans had a great time at the Brunswick pecan fest last year, where they won a blue ribbon for their "Deep Dish Black Bean/Pecan Surprise Pie". Hey - don't knock it 'til you try it!

There are a lot of pecan farms in the Brunswick area, although most don't have nightmare-inducing paintings of evil hammers chasing poor defenseless pecans painted on the side of them. "Run, nutty! Run!" The beans were heard yelling as they witnessed this incredible act of nut brutality. But when we tried to explain to them that a) it's only a drawing, b) they're nuts, and they're supposed to be cracked open, and c) they too had once been plucked from their vine before they were canned, the beans put their fingers in their ears and sang "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA". Oh, well. I guess we'll just have to let the beans live in denial, shall we? Frijole ignorance is bliss.