Why, it's the happiest land of them all, especially when the beans drop by. See what happens when they hang out with puppets, elephants, teacups, and more!

Top o' the morning, knights, knaves, and princesses alike! It's a beautiful day at Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom (isn't every day beautiful here?), and there's no time to waste - there are castles to storm, pachyderms to tame, amphibians to ride shotgun with, ticking crocodiles to salute, and 600 nailed-down small children being forced to sing the same song for all eternity who are in desperate need of rescuing. Ah, we must be in Fantasyland, aren't we? Sure enough, that's where we're headed. But first, the beans must pass through the gates of Sleeping Beauty Castle, which leads to all of the wonderful sights inside. Sleeping Beauty Castle is more than a mere theme park icon - it's the focal point for all of this amazing wonderment you see before you. So before you just dash through, do like the frijoles and take a moment to admire it in all its glory. It's one of the few castles in the world that you're free to enter without risking being thrown in the dungeon. And in case you're wondering, the beans truly are kings of their own castle - although theirs is made of tin and is nowhere near as cool as this one.

Just to prove that this isn't just one great big facade, the beans thought you see this shot of the inside of the castle, from the courtyard, as it were. Yep, it's really there. Disney has built castles in all 5 of their Magic Kingdom theme parks, each one more grand and lavish than the next. But the beans really think that Disneyland's version is the most welcoming. It's not overbearing, it's not foreboding, and it's not going to leave you thinking that you have to feed a giant or slay a dragon in order to get in. The frijoles - who know a thing or two about making good use of a relatively small architectural space - appreciate the style and warmth of Sleeping Beauty Castle - why, you can almost say it's just their size. The castle in Orlando (Cinderella is the host there) now has an overnight apartment/hotel room that guests can stay in, provided that they're the lucky winner of the day. Disneyland's castle doesn't have a bedroom in it - just a closed-down diorama of Princess Aurora's "This Is Your Life" story. But if anyone was to make an exception and allow a certain (cough, cough, ahem) can of vegetables to roll out a sleeping bag for a night or two inside, well then I know the perfect can for the job...

Just inside the Fantasyland courtyard the beans stopped to try their hand at removing the mystical sword from the stone. You see, in the olden tale of yore, whoever pulled the sword out of the boulder would be crowned king. And as anyone who has ever seen the Disney animated classic knows, only brave knaves named Arthur have the fortuosity to pull off such a stunt. Still, that didn't distract our can of beans from at least giving it their best effort. I mean, all you've got to do is tug really hard, and presto - you're in charge, right? So the frijoles pulled and yanked and threw their enter weight (15 ounces net) into it...but alas, they weren't successful. Dejected, the beans went instead to see if they could pull a rabbit out of a hat.

So we've burned through three pictures so far and haven't been on a single ride yet. What's wrong with us??? The beans decided to quickly rectify that problem by dropping in to see their old pal Pinocchio, and to ride with him through his Daring Journey. In this classic Disneyland dark ride ("dark" meaning "indoors with ample use of black light"), the Little Wooden Head has to find his way home after escaping from Pleasure Island while avoiding turning into a donkey, being caged by Stromboli, and becoming lunch for Monstro. If he gets through all that in one piece, I think he deserves to become a real boy, don't you? While they were riding, the beans wished upon a star that they were "real", too, but the Blue Fairy had to remind them that - duh - they're already real. So instead they changed their wish to a new Mercedes convertible. And wouldn't you know it - faster than you can say "Jiminy Cricket is not a grasshopper", the lovely Blue Fairy made their dream come true. Hey, would we lie to you?

Next up the beans went to see their other old pal from way back when - Dumbo! Dumbo the elephant has been a fan favorite (especially with the preschool crowd) in Disneyland since the park's opening, and it's good to see that the old boy is still smiling and flying after all these years. Of course, there's a famous scene in the movie where Dumbo and his buddy Timothy Mouse get themselves sauced up, and end up flying to a tree filled with crows. But since drinking and flying is highly discouraged these days (no more pink elephants on parade for you, pally), the beans are proud to tell you that the strongest beverage that Dumbo enjoys these days is one of those Disney frozen lemonades they sell at the popcorn cart around the corner. The beans were going to go ride Dumbo themselves, but quite frankly they were a little afraid of heights, and the fact that they may be mistaken for really burnt peanuts. So instead they stayed on the ground and admired him from a safe distance.

Now, if there's one attraction at Disneyland that just screams "Do Not Ride Immediately After Lunch", it's this one. Yes, welcome to the world famous teacups. Made semi-famous by Walt Disney in his 1951 version of "Alice in Wonderland", Disneyland's Mad Tea Party is a tribute to the fun provided by the Mad Hatter, March Hare, and the Dormouse, where tea time is more than an afternoon treat - it's an adventure unto itself. And although technically Alice and her mad friends never did climb into the teacups themselves, the Mad Tea Party here will certainly let you experience the thrills and excitement of the scene, provided you can spin those bad boys fast enough (and if you've eaten less than three corn dogs). Of course, being a spinning ride, there's always those who find their tummies a little bit...well, let's just say that they experience urges contrary to digesting. So if you hear a friendly CM announce a "protein spill" or a "Code V" (yes, "V" stands for what you think it does), you'll know to check the teacup's seat before you sit down, won't you?

But what do you do when you're an 5 3/4 inch tall can of frijoles and you're really jonesing for a spin on the teacups? Well, in our case, you risk it. So our brave beans climbed into the cup, desperately searched for a seat belt and an approved flotation device under their seat, and hoped to heaven that someone would be kind enough to come along and offer them a barf bag, just as a precaution. They held on tight, closed their little bean eyes, and prayed for mercy. Now, I didn't have the heart to tell them that they weren't in a real teacup - this was one that was off the spinners, set up for guest photos only. So instead I just rolled the can back and forth a few times and yelled Wheeeeeee for good measure. The beans were naturally fooled into thinking that they'd survived the terror that is the teacups, and I wasn't about to spoil the illusion for them. Aren't I a nice guy?

But while they were basking in the glory of their spinning success, a really nice family came by and asked what they were up to. Since that happens so rarely in the bean's world (most people just walk on by - their curiosity never sated), we were glad to strike up a conversation with our new best Fantasyland friends. So here they are - the beans and their new pals, all enjoying a pseudo-teacup moment together. The beans really enjoyed getting to know their fellow park guests, and were glad that this lovely family took the time to stop for a chat and an official BATW photo with them. And a word to those of you who are too timid to ask the beans "Just what in the world are you doing?" when you see them out and about: Don't be shy! The frijoles love to meet their fans. They don't bite, they won't sic a bunch of bodyguards on you, and they'll be glad to sign as many autographs as you'd like. Oh, and they're also fairly good about not borrowing any money from you, although if you do happen to have some extra Disney Dollars laying around, they'll be glad to help you use them up at the nearest popcorn stand...

Our next stop on our frijole journey through Fantasyland takes us to the Swiss Alps, or the SoCal version of those famous mountain peaks. Here's the Matterhorn mountain, or at least a 1/100th scale replica of the real thing. The Matterhorn is significant in Disney trivia/folklore in many ways - it's one of the only attractions that technically straddles two lands - Fantasyland and Tomorrowland. It's also one of the few rides with two separate tracks - you get a different experience depending on which line you get into. And if that wasn't enough, when it was built in 1959 it was also the first roller coaster anywhere to use steel tube tracks. No loose fillings from a shaking "woodie" here! The beans wanted to ride the Matterhorn, but once they caught wind that there might be an Abominable Snowman inside, they decided to stick to the outside shots and not risk becoming an Abominable Appetizer.

Finally, the beans went back by to see their old buddies at It's a Small World, whose siren song has been haunting the memories of millions of people since 1964. It's a Small World is true Disney classic, in that it is made for the whole family, leaves you feeling good about life, and sends you home with a burned-in audio souvenir that you won't soon forget. Long after the frozen bananas and $4 Mickey balloons are gone, you'll still have the joy of that song with you, wherever you go. The beans actually dig Small World a lot - the tune reverberates off their can walls in perfect pitch - and were hoping to join one of the scenes on a permanent basis. Unfortunately Disney Imagineering frowns on stowaways, so we had to remain in the boat, with our hands and feet inside the vessel at all times like good little frijoles. Maybe next time. Anyway, the beans had a swell time in Fantasyland, and hope that all of you can make the trip out to see it for yourself. Because no matter if you're 1 or 101, there's always a little bit of a kid inside of you, right? Just don't forget your frijoles - they're young at heart, too.