Howdy, cowpokes, and welcome to the Real Ol' West! Today the beans find out why the livestock crossed the road (poor chickens - they're still a mystery...) by taking you the heart of the Texas cattle stampede and roundup.

The beans aren't used to seeing "cattle crossing" signs in the middle of the road, but they suppose if deer can do it, then holsteins can do it, too. Just don't run over one - it's a little bigger than hitting a squirrel.

The Fort Worth Stockyards is an actual working livestock market, having been at it since 1866. Even today, despite the arrival of "modern cattle" (Harleys and Winnebagos), the stockyards still features regularly scheduled cattle drives for the tourists. It's almost like the bulls in Pamplona, only without the goring.

The stockyards area also includes a tribute to the Texas trail, and here the frijoles stop to visit the Lone Star dedicated to none other than their distant cousin, Judge Roy Bean. Good ol' Roy was a saloon keeper AND an actual judge, who dispensed justice with neutrality, fairness, and a shot of rye.

Judge Roy liked to refer to himself as "The Law West of the Pecos", which is similar to our bean's first nickname: "The Fastest Gas West of the Bean Field". If you're interested, there's an old Paul Newman movie about JRB, and an even older 50's TV series. They may not be 100% factual, but at least Newman will make it watchable.

But we've promised you cows, and ho boy -- do we deliver. Here the beans meet “Cowlamity Jane” (don’t blame me - I didn’t name her), who obviously owns stock in a lipstick company. The beans can’t say that they’ve ever seen a cow wearing Revlon before, but I suppose there’s a first for everything, especially if it’s almost closing time...

And since we’re in the land of cowboys, the beans decided it was time for them to saddle up and hit the open trail. However, a little phobia of being trampled, thrown, or otherwise eaten by a real horse, our scaredy-beans opted to take the easier path. True, they won’t win any races (or impress any cowboys) by riding this junior model, but hey - at least it’ll keep them riding into the sunset... or until they run out of quarters.