Greetings, sailors, vacationers, and those looking to escape to somewhere tropical, and welcome aboard the Holland America Line's cruise ship Oosterdam! Today the frijoles cast off for a week long trip around the Caribbean on this incredibly gorgeous new ship, where they'll lay in the sun, take in the local sights, sip an exotic frozen beverage or two, dance the conga on the Lido deck, and try their darnest not to ask anyone in an officer's uniform if they've seen "Gopher" or "Doc". (They'd rather not be tossed overboard for repeating a 20 year old joke, if it's all the same to you...) Anyway, before you can cast off, the U.S. Coast Guard requires that you attend a muster drill, which means you'd better know how to put on your life jacket and where your assigned lifeboat is located in the "more-likely-than-when-flying" event of a water landing... So as you can see, the beans were eager students, and they passed their muster test with flying colors. Hmmm - beans with a side of muster, huh? Almost sounds like a deli order...

Anyway, the beans thought you might like to see what this amazing ship looks like. The Oosterdam is the newest in Holland America's fleet, having launched brand spanking new in 2003. She's got 11 decks, weighs in at a svelte 82,000 tons, and has room for 1,824 passengers, a crew of 800, and one incredibly lucky can of vegetables that didn't end up in the galley. The beans were also thrilled to find out that they serve pizza and ice cream on board 24 hours a day, so if you're like the frijoles and find yourself in the mood for a slice of pepperoni along with that banana split at 3:00 AM, by all means, go for it! Just be sure to save some hot fudge for the beans - because diets don't count when you're on vacation.

So after spending all that time on board the Oosterdam, the beans were glad to get off the ship for a while and spend some time on dry land, especially land where sunshine, white sand beaches, and daiquiris are plentiful. And so that's how they found themselves here, on Half Moon Cay. Half Moon Cay (pronounced "key" for you non-island types) is Holland America's private island getaway in the Bahamas, where guests of their ships can spend all day hanging out without being trampled by a zillion other tourists. The beans thought the concept of having a private island all to themselves was pretty cool, and they're now hard at work trying to figure out how they an have their own Caribbean island year round. So far the plan includes buying loads of lottery tickets and sucking up to Donald Trump, but they'll keep working on it...

So what's there to do on Half Moon Cay? Well, you can do the obvious and go into the Caribbean Sea. They've got snorkeling and scuba diving available, or you can just "rough it" and jump right into the blue water, as the frijoles did. (Just be sure to put on some sun screen - take it from the beans, you don't want to burn your can.) Or if you prefer to see the water without having to rinse sand out of your shorts at the end of the day, you can always stay up on top and enjoy the view from a kayak, a glass-bottom boat, or even a banana boat. The beans wanted to try the banana boat, but they kept slipping off the peel... If you're under 12 years old and playing Pirates of the Caribbean is more your style, grab your treasure map and follow the island's daily treasure hunt, where the kiddies can try to find out if X really does mark the spot. The beans thought this sounded like fun, and even though they're technically not a "kid", the nice people at HAL still let them play along. Now, I won't spoil the surprise and tell you if they found the hidden pirate's gold or not, but let's just say that a can full of dublooms goes a long ways on the mainland... Of course, all that fun in the sun can tend you leave you a little parched, and so if nothing else, you can always join the frijoles at the nearby cabana for a tall cool one. (Why, they may even buy the first round, thanks to all those pieces of eight they looted from the aforementioned treasure hunt.) So pick out a hammock, order up a concoction served in a pineapple, and enjoy. Come next January when it's 10 below zero outside your door, at least you'll have the happy memories to keep you warm.