Ahoy, sailors and those who appreciate a week of doing as little as humanly possible ('cause it's vacation, y'all!), and welcome onboard the incredible Disney Magic! This week the beans are off for a week of cruising Disney style - what could be better than that? The Magic departs from Port Canaveral, FL for a week of Caribbean good times, including stops in Key West, Cozumel, and Grand Cayman, plus a day at Disney's private island, Castaway Cay.

So here the beans get as close as vegetable-ly possible to the bridge of the Magic, where Captain Tom and his crew make sure that this oversized dinghy doesn't accidently take out that friendly pier below. The beans are amazed at how they can pilot one of these gigantic ocean liners so carefully - the frijoles can't even navigate a shopping cart through the neighborhood supermarket without taking out a pyramid of oranges or canned goods. (Okay, actually that's intentional. It's fun to watch them tumble down. Just don't tell that to the poor kid who has to restack them...)

Now the beans are in this photo - trust us on that one - but we thought you should have some perspective on exactly how HUGE one of these ships is. The Disney Magic has room for 2,400 passengers and 950 crew members, is 11 decks high, weighs in at 83,000 tons, and is 964 feet long. Not exactly a fishing trawler, is it? No wonder the beans are feeling a little tiny about now.

The Magic also has 877 staterooms, a basketball court, four swimming pools (including one for the crew), 5,000 square feet of shopping, a 9,000 square foot salon and spa, a Broadway-compatible theater, and special clubs and activities for little tykes, mid-range kiddies, and your older-yet-trying-to-be-cool teens. So if you can't find anything to do, well then you're really hard to please. In your case, the beans say that they'll sit you down and read you some of their outstanding poetry. At least that way you'll be able to nap in the sun...

Since safety at sea is of the upmost importance (you're not going to hit an iceberg in the middle of the Caribbean, but it's better to be safe than sorry, right?), the Magic regularly conducts emergency drills. So here the beans watch as the crew launches a life boat, and are more than thrilled to know that those suckers actually do float and aren't just on the side of the boat as some sort of Disney decoration.

BATW Ambassador Chris noted "Every now and again they would throw the life ring out and pull it back in. We'd all clap like they just saved someone." While it was nice to know that the guests were amused by this, the beans know the real macabre reason why they were tossing out the life ring like that - it has something to do with a certain crab named Sebastian and the "fresh catch of the day" in the dining room that night, but they promised Chef Louie that they'd keep that part a secret...

And speaking of copious amounts of seafood, the Magic holds several special parties during the course of your cruise, including this special pirate-themed food fest that they were glad to attend. It was called "Pirates IN the Caribbean", which seems to fit well - when you're in the Caribbean, why not celebrate the buccaneer side in everyone? So yo ho, yo ho, drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!

The beans were standing here posing for this photo when a rather obnoxious woman wearing a rather obnoxious muumuu came up to them and said, "Oh, what a cute pirate can of vegetables! Tell me, where are your buccaneers?" Well, without repeating a certain vulgar old joke, let's just say that the beans made it quite clean that frijoles don't have ears. We'll leave the rest to your imagination.

The Pirates IN the Caribbean party also features some really incredible food and ice carving displays, such as these cool works that the beans stopped off to admire. The beans tried carving an ice sculpture once, but things didn't work out the way they hoped. But in the end, it was okay - their sculpture ended up being called "Pitcher of Frozen Margaritas", with millions of little, tiny ice carvings suspended in a frothy lime and tequila mixture. For originality, it got a "C", but taste? "A+", baby. "A+".

Unlike most cruise ships, the Disney ships don't have casinos. But never fear, people who enjoy throwing their money away -- there's BINGO! The jackpot was a progressive bingo bonanza, with the grand prize topping out at $4,000 tax free. Sweet, no?

Sadly, I must be honest and tell you that no, the beans did not come away winners this time. Which, in the end is probably a good thing. They would've just blown the four grand on Mouseketeer ears for all of their fellow passengers. Sure, it'd be cool to host the world's longest mouse-eared conga line on the Lido deck, but that would just be excessive, wouldn't it?

Finally, the beans would like you to meet a lovely CM (that's Cast Member to you non-Disnoids), who was kind enough to take them around for a tour. This is Kaz, who apparently copped her hair style from old Pippi Longstocking movies. (To each his own, I suppose. The beans thought it was cool, and a zillion times better than a 'Farrah' or yet another 'Rachel' knockoff.)

Anyway, here's what Chris had to say about the beans' new best friend, Kaz: "She was asking about the beans. Since she had her hair all up and lovely, she said to tell you that this was really a picture taken of a girl in Sweden. So this is a picture of Kaz in Sweden. (I think she's really from the UK.)"

Well, Kaz-from-wherever-she's-really-from and the beans hit it off, and the next time the frijoles are in Sweden, the UK, the Caribbean, or wherever they are, they'll be sure to look her up. There may be hundreds of countries, but only one Kaz...