Salutations and welcome to Mickey D's of Milford, Connecticut, where we find both John and the beans doing balancing acts: John is standing on the bench in the Phoon pose, while the beans are holding on for dear life to this red-headed clown's plastic 'fro.

Now, whether or not Mr. McDonald realizes that he has a food item on his noggin that didn't come from his own Extra Value line is unclear. But we do know that once ol' fry-breath here got a taste of our famous legumes, he immediately declared it to be a "McWinner". And for once in their meager little lives, the beans agreed with him 100%. Of course, that still doesn't mean they're going to have a Big Mac - have you seen how many fat grams are in one of those things? The beans have to watch their figure, you know...