"I once had some beans that were so old..." "How old were they?" "They were so old, they had Joan River's original face pictured on the label." Ho, ho, ho. Hey-oooo!" Now you understand why the beans won't be giving up their day job to write comedy for a living anytime soon... Anyway... Welcome to Norfolk, Nebraska, the childhood home of the only and only King of Late Night TV, Mr. Johnny Carson! Johnny was actually born across the state line in Corning, Iowa, but lived here from age 8 to 18. When he used to talk about "harking back to his days on the plains of Nebraska", this is it. As you can tell, the people in Norfolk are mighty proud of their favorite son, and the beans were glad to meet him - or at least his plywood version painted on this sign.

Here, the beans pay a visit to Johnny Carson Boulevard, where it proves that if you're a big enough star, you can get your name on just about anything... Actually, Johnny has been very generous to the Norfolk community, making several donations to the high school for their theater, and helping build a wing on the local hospital. Most of his gifts are done very quietly and secretive, which is okay, I guess. He recently gave a bunch of his personal stuff to the museum here, which will soon open its very own Johnny collection. Carnac the Magnificent and his friends walked away from network TV in 1992, and so far he's wisely resisted the urge to turn back up on some TV special. Most celebrities don't know when it's time to give up their shtick and say goodbye (Are you listening, Carrot Top???) - Johnny went out on top, and will forever remain there. The beans miss watching Johnny, but do wish him the best in his Malibu retirement. And if Mr. Carson ever decides to play tennis with a bunch of frijoles, we know a certain can that would be glad to take him on in mixed-doubles...

While in Norfolk, we stumbled across a couple of uniquely painted bovines. "Captain Americow" here seems ready for a life of fighting crime, or marching in countless 4th of July parades, whichever comes first. The beans tip their lid to the red-white-and-blue beast, and hope that she doesn't accidently get ran up any flag poles any time soon...

I'm asking for your forgiveness now. "Holy Cow!" Sorry about that. I couldn't help myself.