Good afternoon, my fowl feathered friends, and welcome to the fabulous Peabody Hotel! Located in Orlando on International Drive, the Peabody is one of those wonderful five-star luxury hotels that the beans love to stay at, given the opportunity. (They usually end up at places where the towels are chained to the wall, so this is definitely a special event.) Anyway, like it's sister locations in Memphis and Little Rock, the Peabody is known for outstanding service, fine dining, superior accommodations, and yes - as you can see - a very liberal pet policy.

Here the beans check out the Peabody's lobby fountain, which is literally swimming with ducks. The beans were tempted to jump in and join them, but since water doesn't roll off their metal backs in the same way it does for our mallard friends, and we were fresh out of chained-to-the-wall towels, the frijoles decided it was best to remain "high and dry".

So how exactly did the Peabody end up with a lobby full of ducks? Well, it's like this. The March of the Ducks actually started at the Peabody's Memphis hotel, where back in the 1930's the hotel's general manager Frank Shutt thought it'd be a hilarious gag to slip some live duckies into the fountain. Well, guess what - they were a hit with the public. And anything that brings people into your place of business is a good thing, right? So the March of the Ducks was born. And when the Peabody Orlando opened in 1986, the tradition of the fountain-full-o-mallards continued.

Someone once thought it'd be a great joke to slip a can of black beans in a fountain, but alas - the joke backfired. Although the beans seemed to enjoy the experience, it was mighty disappointing how the people at The Bellagio in Vegas didn't find it amusing to see a can of frijoles bouncing back and forth on their dancing waters.

Ah, but these aren't your ordinary run of the neighborhood park ducks, no sirree. These babies are stars. The five ducks that live here at the Peabody descend to the lobby each morning at 11:00 AM from their very own elevator that comes from a private, $100,000 Royal Duck Palace penthouse suite. They then walk across the red carpet (complete with their own theme song: Souza's 'King Cotton March') to the fountain, where they spend their day signing autographs, posing for pictures, and being admired and adored by a fawning public. (Okay, they may not sign many autographs, but you never know...)

So here the beans along with their pals Alex and Ashley patiently wait their turn to meet the four hens and one drake that make up the happy Peabody Duck family, who are known at the hotel as V.I.P.s - Very Important Poultry. Not bad - the V.I.P.s hanging out with the V.H.F. (Very Hip Frijoles). Pass out some dark sunglasses and set up a red velvet rope, and we're all set.

So after a hard day of entertaining the masses, at 5:00 PM the ducks march back up the red carpet to their elevator, where they're whisked off to their penthouse suite for a restful night. And boy, do they deserve it - it's hard work being on stage all day long, 7 days a week. (Rumor has it they spend their evening in front of their plasma TV playing "Grand Theft Auto", surfing the Web, checking their stock portfolios, and jamming to the latest 50 Cent CD, but we haven't been able to confirm that yet.)

And have no worries - once the ducks are fully grown and retire from the Peabody lobby, they're returned to the wild and not sent to the Peabody's award-winning restaurant (ironically named) "Dux". The beans are glad to hear that their post-retirement years are filled with the great outdoors and not l'orange sauce.

Regardless, the beans had a great time hanging out with the Peabody ducks, and hope that all of you can "get down" here right away. 'Cause, yes - it IS everything it's quacked up to be.