Do you know the way to San José? BATW Ambassador Robyn Binns and the beans do. Now the question is...how do we find our way out?

Howdy, high-tech fiends and lowdown millionaires, and welcome to Silicon Valley! Today the beans are in beautiful downtown San José, California - home to just about everything electronic or Internet-related. If it dials, logs on, text messages, prints, scans, or locks up with a nasty blue screen of death, odds are there was something to do with its creation right here in San Jose. Despite all of the computer-nerdiness vibe in that previous paragraph, San Jose really is a nice town. Okay, maybe "town" isn't the right word - San Jose is HUGE. As in the 3rd largest city in California and 10th largest in the U.S. huge. But somehow San José is able to keep a small town feel, at least in the downtown area, which is filled with movie theaters, museums, restaurants, and a lot of nice walking space. Now, here the beans are seen on the sidewalk, but contrary to popular belief, they're not napping - nope, they're break dancing. See them spin on their head? I guess you had to be there...

Anyway, here the frijoles check out the San José Museum of Art, which is filled with all sorts of interesting artsy stuff. The permanent collection they'r got here focuses primarily on 20th and 21st century art, with a focus on West coast artists and a growing emphasis on art from the Pacific Rim. While that means you probably won't find any paintings of dogs playing poker inside, you might find one of them surfing... Hey - the beans are originally from the West coast - right near here, in San Francisco, in fact. Maybe they could host an exhibition at the museum? I mean, they can't draw a straight line, but they do have over 1,300 photos of their worldwide travels. Quick - someone call Cristo and let's make this things happen!

Now, I suppose it'd be an insult to all of those Internet gazillionaires out there if the beans didn't pay a little attention to the primary industry in San José - technology. What is it about this city that attracted all of these high tech companies to set up base here is yet another mystery of life, but I'm sure that the nice weather and close access to the ports of San Francisco may have had something to do with it. But whatever the reason, San José is home to many of the companies you buy hardware from/subscribe to/log on with/curse occasionally. So it's only appropriate that the beans stop by to check out the San José Tech Museum of Innovation, or more simply, The Tech. Focusing on technology and its effects, The Tech sounds like a place where you'd expect to see Dungeons and Dragons games in the basement and Star Trek tributes in the atrium, but nothing could really be further from the truth. (Although Captain Picard is in the bottom floor Space Exploration exhibit, but we'll forgive them for that.) The Tech is a really interesting museum, suitable for kids of all ages, that emphasizes learning and exploration, and really does spark the imagination. Like right now - the frijoles are imagining that they are secretly on display in the museum, properly hidden where only the truly observant will find them. How long will it be before they are discovered? More importantly, will they be honored as the museum-worthy piece of significant technology that they are, or will they be dismissed as a simple piece of op-art? That's for the world to decide. Anyway, the beans had a great time wandering the halls of The Tech, and until they can convince someone to actually put them on display, they'll remain hidden in the sterile room on the 3rd floor. Look for them in the funny white suit - clean and sanitized for your protection.

But back to the Wonderful World of Tech - here the beans stop by to visit one of San José's most famous high-tech residents - eBay. It's here at this gorgeous campus that eBay and their co-companies PayPal and Skype run their worldwide operations, where they prove that anything - and everything - has a value to someone. The people at both PayPal and eBay have been wonderfully kind to the beans over the years, and our overly crap-laden beans are really grateful to the nice people who work here (and at their other locations) for making sure that the frijoles receive top dollar for all of the collectibles and souvenirs that they've picked up over the years, but somehow the novelty wore off of. I mean, when you're on vacation and you buy a 10-foot wide sombrero or a pink satin pillow with fringe all around it, it always sounds like a good idea at the time, right? One bean's trash is truly another bean's treasure, it seems.

And because beans don't live by high-tech alone, they thought you should see another industry found here in San José - bail bonds. While it's not uncommon to find bail bonds for sale in any city, it is out of the ordinary to find so many shops out there with...unusual, highly memorable names. Like this one. Yes, it's really called Zig Zag Bail Bonds. Yes, their slogan really is "Smok'n the Competition." Yes, that really is their logo. Yes, the irony was not lost on the beans, who wonder how many people they bail out for that very same offense... But don't judge a bail bond by its cover - the beans stopped inside their office, where the staff couldn't have been any nicer. They even gave the beans a t-shirt to wear, which they proudly don at every opportunity that doesn't involve church and/or a police convention. So the beans have to really thank the nice people at Zig Zag, and they promise to remain on the straight and narrow...or at least the round and tinned.

And since one bail bond is never enough, the beans also went to see the Nice Boys at...Bad Boys Bail Bonds. They were just down the road from the courthouse, and with their flamboyant fleet of fancy painted vehicles (vans, trucks, limos, and even a Hummer or two), there's no way you'll forget the name "Bad Boys" when you find yourself in a spot you really shouldn't have put yourself into. Now, for years the beans have preached a simple philosophy - "Behave Yourself." And while they can't claim to be perfect angels all they time, they can proudly tell you that they've never found themselves in need of being bonded out at 3:00 in the morning. Just don't ask them about 4:00 AM...

Anyway, Bad Boy's slogan is "Because Your Mama Wants You Home." Which may be very true, unless the old lady is the reason you ended up in the clink in the first place. See what remembering Mother's Day and/or the occasional phone call will prevent? Hey, if it worked for Norman Bates, it might work for you, too... But what's really interesting is the portrait of "Mama" that's on the van - wow, Mother really ought to consider picking up a little depilatory cream or something... I mean, if the frijole's mother had rocked a 'stache like that, I think they would've wound up in a life of crime, too. So there you have it - the good (and bad) side of San Jose. The beans had a great time here in town, and they highly recommend that you include a stop here on your next visit. Who knows - you might have a really good time. And if you don't, well then you know who to call, 24 hours a day.