Howdy, cowboys, rednecks, giddy kids, lovestruck teens, and exhausted tourists, and welcome to Six Flags Over Texas! Today the beans slide into this classic amusement park, where you can spin, whirl, loop, and toss -- and that's just your stomach. Six Flags here in Arlington is the first one in the chain, having opened in 1961 at an initial cost of just $10 million. The beans are impressed by their getting so much out of so little money - nowadays that price wouldn't get you half a dozen churros and a Diet Coke.

Anyway, here we pose in Looney Tunes USA, which surprised the beans; they always assumed that "Looney Tunes USA" was somewhere in Western Iowa. This part of the park was originally themed after Pac-Man of all people (things); apparently Inky, Blinky, and Clyde were chased out of Dodge by Yosemite Sam at some point. So now you can bring the rugrats out to ride such exciting thrills as "Elmer Fudd's America the Beautiful Railway (complete with 'amber waves of gwain?'), "Michigan J. Frog's Tinsel Town Revue", or "Taz's New York Adventure", which the beans hope doesn't include a late-night stop in Hell's Kitchen.

Being a hot day, the beans decided it'd be fun to cool off, courtesy of a wall of water comin'-right-atcha. This splash is courtesy of the "Aquaman Showdown" shoot-the-chutes water ride. Basically, it's like this: you go up, you go around, you go down, you get really, really, wet. Some people are thrilled to be soaked to the bone by Yucky Ride Water; others are surprised to find themselves walking around the rest of the afternoon in dripping Levi's.

Now, while the beans appreciate a good dowsing as much as the next dehydrated can of vegetables, the chafing from wearing a wet label all day long can be excruciating, so they opted to stay dry for now.

Next up, the beans check out one of the hottest ride in the park: "Batman, the Six Hour Line". Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tad, but it sure feels like it when it's hot and humid and you're being pushed through a never-ending series of cattle gates. The Batman ride is actually pretty cool; while it's only 105 feet tall, it does top out at 50 MPH and includes 5 inversions in the two minutes you're on. Batman also pulls 4 G's, and that's without a snarling, dark demeanor.

The beans didn't get to ride Batman: The Ride, since they're under the minimum height requirements, but they did get to visit the alternate - Commissioner Gordon's Coffee Shop. It's not as exciting, unless you order the triple-shot grande mocha. Then you'd better hold onto your hat and glasses.

Ah, but not all is lost. Thanks to a careless Caped Crusader (he was distracted by the chick in the Wonder Woman costume), the beans were able to..."borrow" the keys to his sweet ride. So if you happen to be driving down the Interstate and see a can of black beans passing you in the Batmobile, don't be surprised. Just get out of the way.

In the end, our frijoles had a good time at Six Flags, and hope that y'all have a chance to drop in someday. Just show up early, and don't mention to Mr. Wayne anything about his stolen car.