Hello and welcome, rabid gridiron fans and those in search of higher education, to one of the Midwest's most famous institutions for higher learning and college football. Today the beans have crossed the goal line and arrived here in Notre Dame, Indiana (which is technically adjacent to South Bend, but whose counting?), home to that legendary school among schools, Notre Dame U. As you can see from their sign, Notre Dame U. was founded way back in 1842 by a priest of the Congregation of the Holy Cross, and is still going strong today, boasting a primo education that looks good on any resume. The beans wouldn't mind having a degree from Notre Dame, but alas - I think we all know how legitimate it would be. (Here's a hint from the lousy forgery student frijoles: genuine diplomas aren't written in Magic Marker...)

Among the list of notable Notre Dame graduates you'll find folks such as Phil Donahue and Regis Philbin (they must have a talk show host class, eh?), Bush's national security advisor Condoleezza Rice, writer Nicholas Sparks, and NBC's Hannah Storm. Impressive, no? The beans would've liked to have met any of these famous people, although they suspect that one would ask about their inner feelings, one would babble on to them about working with Kathie Lee, one would write a weepy novel about them, one would ask about their giving the team 110% when on the field, and the other one? She'd probably just make up stories... Sigh.

If you'd like to attend Notre Dame, the beans recommend that you start saving now. 2003-2004 average tuition ran just over $27,000 for both undergraduate and grad school students, not counting essentials such as room, board, books, and cans of black beans. Still, just over 11,300 students managed to scrape together the loot (which the beans really doubt came from that many summer jobs down at Burger King...) to afford the tuition, and they sport an amazing graduation rate of 95%, which is exceeded only by Harvard, Princeton and Yale. So apparently the high cost of education pays off, right? Our traveling can was actually hoping to attend Notre Dame on a full-time basis too, but alas -- unlike naive little boys named Jack, the University's Board of Regents doesn't accept beans as payment for anything. Bummer - we would've let them borrow the golden harp, too...

Of course, it's hard to mention the Notre Dame Fighting Irish without evoking the memory of this guy, Knute Rockne. During Rockne's 13-year coaching tenure here, the Irish won six national championships, beat Stanford in the 1925 Rose Bowl, and had five unbeaten and untied seasons. (And just imagine - all that without a shoe or sports drink endorsement!) His lifetime winning percentage of .881 (105-21-5) still ranks at the top of the list for both college and professional football. Plus, the mere mention of his name makes Regis Philbin and other die-hard alums weep with joy, so he gets bonus points for that alone. The beans wish someone would cry over the mention of their name, too -- and not just because they've been served up with a heaping scoop of onions...

Next up the beans head outdoors to pull up a park bench in front of the Joyce Center to meet the likeness of Mr. Edward "Moose" Krause. Moose was a 6-foot 3-inch all-star football and basketball player for Notre Dame, and then went on to greater fame as a coach from 1942-1947 and then as the school's athletic director. Plus, he had a pretty cool nickname, which counts for something. So like the dedicated guy he was, here Moose sits on a bench, in the snow, posing with beans. Now, if that isn't a standup kind of person, I don't know what is...

So here we are, in Knute's back yard, outside of Notre Dame Stadium. After a recent overhaul, the stadium now seats upwards of 80,232 people for a game, which is a heck of a lot of green, if you ask the beans. As is tradition around here, before kickoff the Notre Dame players enter the field down a set of stairs past a large sign that reads "Play Like A Champion". The beans aren't sure what type of sign the visiting team must pass under, however they suspect it must have the words "wimp" and/or "loser" in it somewhere, wouldn't you think?

But of course, with a higher power on your side, how could you possibly lose? This mural is tactfully known as "Touchdown Jesus", and is painted on the Hesburgh Library overlooking the south end zone of Notre Dame Stadium. So if you're an opponent who is already intimidated by taking on the Fighting Irish, imagine how you feel knowing that HE is watching every play you make... Whether or not the Big Guy was originally intended for blessing the masses or signaling another 6 points for the home team is up to you to decide. Either way, the beans are fairly certain we can count on Him to be an honest referee - no instant replay necessary. So once again, the frijoles had a swell time while out and about, and sincerely thank the nice people a Notre Dame for letting them hang out for a while. Now, how 'bout some 50-yard line tickets for me, my pal Reege, and the ol' frijoles - for Irish sake?