Top of the morning cruisers and those who've chosen a relaxing way to spend the weekend, and welcome to West Bay, Grand Cayman! Today the beans have returned for another visit to the Cayman Turtle Farm. They had so much fun on their first visit a few years ago that when asked if they'd like to come back, our otherwise normally calm and collect frijoles jumped up and down and squealed. It was embarrassing to say the least, but at least we were certain that they'd enjoy it again.

Anyway, here we are outside the newly remodeled entrance to the farm. Hurricane Ivan had made a huge mess of things around here a few months before our arrival, but everything seemed to be up and running okay here at the turtle farm. The beans are glad that their turtle buddies made it through the storm okay, and hope that the islands don't have to go through anything like that again for a long, long time. Take that, Ivan.

So here we are - the beans with a whole tank of the little darlings. Aw, ain't they cute? About 20 percent of the little turtles hatched and raised here are returned to the Caribbean sea every year, free to frolic and play with Nemo and Dory and all their happy singing fishy friends.

As for the rest of them...well, don't forget that it's called a "Turtle FARM" for a reason. Ghastly, isn't it? Still, they provide food and jobs for a whole lot of people, so let's all remember what Zaphod Beeblebrox taught us at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe: "That's cool. We'll meet the meat." And so we have.

The beans would rather not think that a majority of their little pals are destined for dinner plates worldwide, even though that's where most cans of black beans end up, too. But sometimes miracles do happen - turtles get to swim away, cans of frijoles get to tour the world - so perhaps today will be one of those days, too. Cross your fingers.

This ghoulish sign over the tank of 3 year old turtles says it all - their future is secured in the magical world of steaks, soup, leather, jewelry, and oil used in cosmetics. Think about that the next time you put on that mascara, ladies - you might be wiping one of these lovely creatures on your lashes.

Funny true story: Being well aware of the gruesome fate most of these poor turtles had waiting for them, and being from a part of the world where cows, pigs, and chickens meet their demise on a daily basis, it really didn't bother me that badly to know that they were food, not pets.

But some of our fellow tourees during our visit were visibly mortified to learn this startling information. I overhead one poor woman ask our tour guide: "Oh, you don't mean to tell me that they slit their little throats, do you?" Leslie smiled wide and answered, "Oh, no madam. Not any more. Nowadays they shoot dem in dere head."

See what asking silly questions will get you?

Anyway, after all that morbid talk I thought, the beans thought it would only be polite if I was to buy you a drink. So here we are, next door to the turtle farm, where you'll find the Tortuga Rum Factory and Bakery. In here you can sample a little bit of Grand Cayman's finest libation, and try out some of their famous rum cakes. They come in a ton of different flavors (I was partial to the banana, the coconut, the chocolate, and even the plain, but that was just me), and once you try one, you'll be hooked. You can pick up a large supply of cakes, booze, and other essential souvenirs here, but the beans highly recommend you keep the cakes put away for now - you'd hate to have to go back through customs with crumbs all over your face.

So here we are, waving goodbye to our sad little sea friends. The beans had a good time at the turtle farm, and hope that all of you will come by on your visit to the islands for a chance to see them in person. They would have wanted it that way.

And for those of you who are feeling a little squeamish after reading this, let me assure you that absolutely no turtles were maimed, harmed, or otherwise injured during our visit. One unfortunate can of frijoles did get a small paper cut while ripping open a rum cake box, but that's about it. Other than that, everyone was as happy as a...well, as a turtle.